RAICHU, lilly evers (student)

[Lilly Evers]

#026 - RAICHU

▸ LILLY EVERS

ELECTRIC | MOUSE POKEMON | HASTY

[b][i]BROTHERS CONFLICT[/i] ema[/b] - @raichu

WITH MY FIRST LOVE, I REALIZED THAT THERE COULD BE SUCH SORROW. EVEN IF SOMETHING LAPSES AWAY, SOMETHING WILL LIVE ONCE AGAIN. WHEN YOU GAVE ME A SMILE AS WE PARTED, IT WAS YOUR MESSAGE FOR ME TO TRULY LIVE WITH ALL MY HEART. I JUST KNOW THAT WE'LL SEE EACH OTHER SOMEDAY. IF WE'RE TOGETHER, EVEN IF WE'RE FAR APART, WE CAN GAZE IN EACH OTHERS' EYES LET'S BET EVERYTHING ON ALL OUR HOPES AND DREAMS.

▸ GENERAL INFORMATION

NICKNAME(S): That crazy girl
AGE: 20
GENDER: Female
OCCUPATION/YEAR: Odd jobs + Junior
SPECIALTY: Healing

POSITIVE PERSONALITY ▸ generous ▸ zanny ▸ open minded ▸ dutiful ▸ trustworthy	NEGATIVE PERSONALITY ▸ fierce ▸ fickle ▸ overambitious ▸ bold ▸ idealist
LIKES ▸ life ▸ laughing ▸ working ▸ sports ▸ singing	DISLIKES ▸ being depressed ▸ bullies ▸ easy paths in life ▸ vampires ▸ pop up ads
QUIRKS & HABITS ▸ loves technology but can't build to save her life ▸ takes frequent pictures as "evidence" ▸ a good singer but likes to do it badly ▸ cannot swim at all ▸ often pretends to be dumber than she really is	PHYSICAL TRAITS ▸ long hair often in a side ponytail ▸ she's 5'3" ▸ likes to wear cute + sporty clothes ▸ toned body from sports and being energetic ▸ eyes are gold/brown

POKEMON INFO ABILITY: lightning rod; all electric types moves will target the user ▸ thunder, protect, quick attack, endure

▸ OTHER INFORMATION

▸ Lilly's body is always generating and absorbing electricity so she gets rid of excess energy by sending it all to her school's power generators or charging it through the ground.

▸ She loves playing sports of all kinds but doesn't have a particular favorite. She simply loves the team work and adrenaline rush. She's not good at sports that require a lot of strength such as football or ones that focus on hand-eye coordination like gymnastics. She basically just likes to run around and throw and kick stuff.

▸ She works a lot of odd part-time jobs but her most steady one is a maid cafe.

▸ She's part of her school's technology club and she's known as the worst member in the history of the club. She ruins a lot of things and her inventions often go haywire, creating chaos instead of helping people. Still, if she finds a project particularly interesting, she'll do her best to make it work-of course with the help of her club mates!

▸ She has a zest for life and hates it when people become depressed. Watch out because she'll do anything to cheer them up again! She's almost never depressed but if she ever is, she'll hide alone in her room. Showing her sad emotions isn't her style-being happy is better!

▸ There's more depth to this girl than what she shows on the outside. She's smart and thinks fast on her feet and can read people's expressions-unless she's occupied with something then the world pretty much disappears.

▸ She's a healing major because she wants to save others and make their lives better. She's still very much undecided on what to be, sadly, but wants to stick with healing for as long as she can. Talking about it depresses her so she avoids the topic and would much rather have long internal monologues about it in her room.

▸ She was born with heart murmur-a tiny hole in her heart-which made her unable to play and move around as most rambunctious children could. If anything made her too excited she'd feel severe pain in her chest or she'd lose her breath as if she had been running for hours.

▸ Near the end of her teenage years it sealed up. The doctors warned her the hole could still re-open, especially if she kept playing sports, but the activities were too fun for her to stop. She never wanted to go back to that stagnant life. And it was only a chance-not definite, right?

▸ Their words would bite her in the butt sophomore year of college. Yup, the hole came back mid-sports season and ever since, Lilly hadn't played sports again. Has she learned her lesson about listening to others? Yup. Her daily activities haven't changed other than regular check ups and the no-sports-excitement rule. In a few years, the hole could close up again but until then Lilly is forbidden to get her heart excited otherwise she could have another attack or even worsen the condition.

GUNGNIR. 21. FEMALE.

APPLICATION BELONGS TO FREE FALLING DO NOT STEAL

[pikablu]

DECLINED.

1. Rowdy and loud are almost exactly the same thing.

2. Why would Lilly dislike depression? It doesn't look like she has depression, and she doesn't seem like she has depression, which means she has no business disliking it.

3. As a pokemon with a full evolutionary line, Lilly has to have two siblings. The only pokemon we're making this exception for is the Eevee family - because its so large we felt it necessary to split it up (though they're as close as siblings, anyway). Point is, Raichu, Pikachu, and Pichu are all siblings.

4. Don't use 'random' to describe your characters 'bursts of genius'. Intelligence doesn't work that way, unfortunately. 

5. And here's the big one, and the reason we cannot accept Lilly: her illness. I'm no doctor, but I can almost guarantee that modern medicine does not require taking every other hour. The fact that this disease is both 'incurable' and 'unnamed' means you obviously haven't put much thought into figuring it out other than she's sick, she'll die, and she has to take medicine. If you have a specific disease that a fit, athletic 20 year old would possibly have that would force them to go to such extremes without any major side effects, then by all means, let us know - show us up. But right now, Lilly's disease seems like its there to add dramatic effect.

Lastly, your character has a case of the Mary Sues. Don't worry, this can be fixable, but it'll take some work. Her positives and negatives just aren't strong enough and all seem to be based around the fact that she has a form of ADHD. She has an apparently incurable disease that she has to constantly take medicine for or she'll fall ill, and yet she's perfectly happy and has come to terms with it. That doesn't exactly happen in real life. The fact that she's perfectly happy and seemingly unconcerned is also an issue. Honestly, as of right now you seem to be wrongly using an unnamed illness to make your character stand out from the rest. Our biggest recommendation would be to strip down your application and build up again.

Please feel free to dispute my words via personal message if you think I'm at all wrong in my analysis of your character! Both Ash and I are here to help if you cannot come up with a better way to make your character more rounded.